Nineteen Things Meme

I just discovered that caveblogem tagged me with this meme. I have never been tagged before, so this is very exciting. (I know, how boring must my life be for that to be exciting!!) Anyway, I’ll give it a whirl…

1. Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it.

On my elbow I have a white patch about an inch long where the scar tissue formed over a great gash–a wound received when, in a bout of enthusiastic stupidity, I decided to take my puppy for a ride on my bicycle. I was 15 and should have known better. The puppy was no toy breed, by the way, but a yellow lab/Samoyan mix chosen from among his littermates because he was the biggest of them all. When he squirmed so much that I knew I was going to lose control of the bike, I sacrificed some of my tender skin to make sure my pup had a soft landing. Seems somehow prophetic….

2. What does your phone look like? List your reasons to buy it?

My cell phone is covered by black leather, has a handy do-hicky for clamping it to my clothes when I take the dog for a walk, and has a plastic, see-through part inside so I can see the screen. This plastic is constantly looking smeared and makes me wonder: “Is my face really that dirty?” I didn’t buy the phone, actually. Well, except in so far as my husband and I have a shared bank account. He got it for me before I headed out on my 10,000 mile road trip this summer. I have always resisted owning a cell phone, but, alas, I am now attached to it. I even usually remember to plug it in and charge it.

3. What is on the walls of your bedroom?

Lily Pad Green Benjamin Moore paint. My friend Nancy used that paint on the wall of her upstairs bathroom, and I was compelled to find out the name of it when I realized that every time I went to her house, I eventually found my way upstairs to that bathroom. I realized that the color made me feel calm and peaceful, and what better reaction for the place you sleep every night?

4. What is your current desktop picture?

No picture, just a color called “solid kelp.” Hmmm… peaceful green again. Am I looking for something?

5. Do you believe in gay marriage?

What a funny way to ask the question. Usually we say do you believe in Santa Claus or do you believe in God or believe in yourself. But believe in gay marriage? Microsoft Word’s dictionary says that to “believe” means to “accept that something is true or real.” The dictionary defines marriage (and, yes, I know that competing definitions of marriage are a part of the issue)… “a legally recognized relationship, established by a civil or religious ceremony, between two people who intend to live together as sexual and domestic partners.” In Massachusetts, where I live, it is true that folks who are gay can be married. Do I think this kind of union is “true or real”? You bet I do.

6. What do you want more than anything right now?

The first thing that popped in my head that actually stayed there for more than a half a second is to lose weight. But not just on some crash diet. Rather I want a lifestyle change, a shift that will lead to this result more naturally and sustainably. We often want something most when we feel it is unattainable, right?

7 . What time were you born?

11:42 p.m.

8. Are your parents still together?

“Still” kinda assumes a lot doesn’t it? 🙂 No, they divorced in 1971. They are, however, both still married to their second spouses.

9. Last person who made you cry?

Elizabeth Gilbert. I’ve been reading her book _Eat, Pray, Love_ and there was a part about her saying goodbye to a guy she loved but whom she couldn’t be with anymore. I guess I’ve done a lot of breaking up, prior to my marriage of 17 years (guess I got it all out my system beforehand). Anyway, it triggered that ache deep inside, so familiar and so painful that it brought tears to my eyes.

10. What is your favorite perfume / cologne?

When I was a kid, I liked Green Apple! As an adolescent and young adult, I used to wear White Shoulders, but my sister said she was allergic to it, so I stopped wearing it. Eventually, I found that I really didn’t want to wear any perfume. My Russian friend who lives in Paris thinks it is every woman’s duty to wear perfume! I’m exaggerating. But really she does think that a woman ought to be looking for her particular scent and then wearing it faithfully so men will recognize her — this is a feminine essential. The feminist in me, when my friend said this, decided never to wear perfume again! I do, however, love scented candles, especially lilac, which reminds me of a happy time in my life.

11. What kind of hair/eye color do you like in the opposite sex?

How would gay people answer this question? Funny how we assume so much in the way we speak of gender — opposite sexes. Really, are we opposite, really? Anyway, I was always a sucker for brunettes with blue eyes, but I have dated and found attractive men with different hair colors and eye colors. I find that as I get older, a man’s attractiveness has a lot less to do with how he looks than how he acts. I am more attracted to humor and confidence than a curly mop of chesnut hair and sky blue eyes.

12. What are you listening to? Why?

Mostly listening to worries: my son’s, husband’s, and my own. Though I’m working on letting go of the last! Yesterday my son refused my offer of some music on our drive home from school. I thought some nice, calm music would help him let go of his rotten, tear-producing day. He wanted silence. I was okay with that choice, though. Sometimes music is great, like on our big trip we listened to a lot of Stan Getz, Diana Krall, and Patsy Cline, among others more upbeat and lively. But right now, I find myself okay with silence. I have a lot to think about, and this sabbatical offers the luxury of time to explore some important things. That kind of exploration can be scary, but I have decided to embrace where I am at.

13. Do you get scared of the dark?

Yes, and I dare say that most women in modern America do. Too much talk of muggers and worse. Darkness is not the woman’s friend. That’s one reason I really like the “Take Back the Night” march that many communities engage in each year. We ought not to be afraid, and yet many of us are. Not an evening went by when I taught night school this summer, when I did not feel a twinge of fear walking to my car. At home, in the dark, it’s different. But I am prone to nightmares and sleep-screaming in the dark of night (yee haw). So, although I would not think of characterizing my reaction at home as fear of the dark, I clearly have issues that only come up and out in the darkness of night as I try to rest in my Lily Pad Green room.

14. Do you like painkillers?

No, though it’s not that the opposite is true either. I tend merely to forget to take ibuprofen or whatever, even when a pain in my elbow is nagging at me day and night. It’s not that I LIKE pain. I just tend to think that I should suck it up and get focused on something else. Funny, though, that with others I often think to offer painkillers when they complain of pain. As for stronger drugs, I’ve always been kinda anti-drug, never smoked a single puff of a cigarette or tried illicit drugs. I just didn’t see the point of putting that garbage in my body when it was obviously bad for me. Even though prescription drugs are supposed to be helpful, I always have this distrust of them, too. I will take them if absolutely necessary but there’s a part of me that resists.

15. Are you too shy to ask someone out?

Like on a date? Hmmm…haven’t asked my hubbie out for a while. Shyness? More like the busyness of modern life. But maybe that’d be a good idea. When I’ve been single, I have definitely asked out guys. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

16. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?

“Could,” as in choose something out of the realm of the possible? I am about to break for lunch, so I suppose the issue will come up shortly since I am pretty much capable of preparing and eating whatever I want — if I want it badly enough. Right now I feel a hankering for some fruit, so I’ll probably clean those strawberries sitting on the counter. I will check to see if the mangoes on my window ledge are ripe yet and will debate with myself about whether to save them for dinner or eat one myself now. I will look in the fridge and check out the leftovers and see if anything appeals, maybe some of the leftover terriyaki chicken kabobs from two nights ago. I don’t particularly feel like binging or like eating something forbidden. Not that I do not sometimes feel like that, but I feel pretty good today and so I am having no food issues as of yet.

17. Who was the last person who made you mad?

Me. I beat myself up pretty good on Thursday. How angry I was for all of my mistakes and how angry I was for being so hard on myself and how angry I was that I was not magically becoming a perfect person!

18. List one habit you have that has the potential to annoy people?

I talk to much. Elizabeth Gilbert says that she talks too much, too, so I feel a little better abut that foible. Maybe her book will help me figure out a new path.

19. Who was the last person who made you smile?

My dog. She is a family member, okay? She is just the sweetest package of love and evotion, and she brings me joy.

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2 Responses

  1. Thanks for participating, writinggb. You are a true blogger now that you have responded to a meme. It appears that you have figured out how to insert smiley-face things into your posts. Pretty impressive!

    Solid Kelp? Wasn’t that what they made Soylent Green out of when they couldn’t find enough human bodies?

  2. Yeh, solid kelp. Kinda gross if you think of it. Maybe I’ll switch to another color!

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